Aaaaand we go back to Eisen Andy
With apologies to all readers, I know we all hate changes, but I’ve decided to go back to Blogger.
I’ve been trying WordPress for a couple of months now, and while doing so, Blogger has been undergoing its threatened changes, which I was resisting hugely, along with many other Bloggers.
So much so that Blogger actually backtracked, and reinstalled the old GUI.
However, they have changed their minds again, and have gone ahead with the revamped new GUI which is, surprise surprise, nearly identical to the WordPress one.
So, I was faced with the choice of using WordPress here, or pretty much using WordPress on Blogger.
And my Blogger blog – Eisen Andy – has massively better SEO than this one.
So, it’s back to Blogger we go. *packs up stuff, slings bag over shoulder and sets out for Bloggerland*.
Today’s post is a searing expose of RTL.lu.
To read it, hop on over to Eisen Andy – and while you are there, make a bookmark, as that’s where we will all be from now on.
See you all there!
The Mumping of the Musettes
Note for non-UK readers: “mumping” means asking for something of low value for free. Not stealing it, or demanding with menaces, just asking, sometimes slightly cheekily.
Now read on…..
Well, we did it: LLB and I went to two stages of the Tour of Britain this year, and fulfilled my ambition to attend a start, and a finish, of a stage race. Adding those to last year, when we did a mid-point of a stage, a Crit, and a Time Trial (right to the end, in the rain), that only leaves a Mountain stage to be attended, and we’ve done everything!
My additional not-so-secret agenda for the ToB was to get another musette or two, to add to my lovely Leopard Trek one.
In case you’ve forgotten, at last year’s Tour of Britain I eventually managed to get one from the Leopard bus, with much fear and trembling, and a lot of pushing from LLB (“Go on, ask them!” “Nooooo, I’m too shy!” ” Go on, get up there!” “Nooooo! I can’t!” “Go on, just ask them, think what your fangirls would say if you didn’t even go and ask.” “Oh all right.”)
As soon as I got home, the musette was converted into a handy shopping bag:
…and has been in almost daily use every since. And no, not once, NOT ONCE! has anyone tapped me on the shoulder and said “Hey, nice Leopard bag!”. So disappointing.
Anyway, (*pauses to wipe away a tear. Surely I am not the only Andy Schleck fan in the area??*) there we were at Powis Castle, Stage 6, nice and early, ready for the start, with time to kill hanging around the Team buses.
Team UK Youth were there, my “underdog” team for the Tour, so I waited until they didn’t seem to be over-busy, picked out the youngest chap on duty, then approached them.
“Errrr, ‘scuse me, I know you’re busy, but-” (*big eyes*) “…I was wondering if there’d be any chance of having a musette – an empty one?” (*rising inflection, faint Leelu tone in my voice*) “I’d love one as a souvenir…” *voice trails off, bats eyelashes.*
It worked! The nice mechanic told me to “‘Ang on a min,” grovelled around in the back of the van and brought back an somewhat battered cotton bag. “Ooo!” I squealed like a complete girly, “Thank you very much!”
The nice mechanic leaned in, confidentially. “We call them the Bag For Life” he grinned. “Why?” I replied, with a slightly confused look. “Because they are so big,” he said, “they’re much bigger than everyone else’s!”
Second note for non-UK readers: supermarkets in the UK, in an effort to wean us away from using millions of flimsy plastic carrier bags, now make what they call the Bag For Life, which is a bigger carrier bag, made of very sturdy plastic. The idea is that instead of lots of free flimsy ones, you pay 10p for a Bag For Life, use it instead of the free flimsy ones, then when it gets tatty, the store will swap it, free of charge, for a new one.
And yes indeed, the UK Youth musettes are huge! And please note the two handles, just like a normal shopping bag – clearly these bags have been designed and/or supplied by a company who have never seen a cycle race in their life. One strap, guys, one long strap so they can swing it over their necks, remember?!
Also, you might notice that it’s a bit crumpled – yes, it was a second-hand bag, with mud and a partial footprint on it, possibly some sweat stains (not quite sure) and it contained some empty wrappers.
Awww, that’s so sweet, UK Youth re-use their musettes!
Oh no – a horrible thought occurs to me – what if they were one bag short at the feed station? They are a charity, they have a really, really small budget….oops, perhaps I’d better make a donation after the race? Anyway, this bag is therefore ready for use, once it’s had a quick wash.
Next was Garmin: I felt a bit sorry for them – they were the first big team in the parking area, crowds of people all around, someone decided to move one of their team cars and crash! it hit the other team car. Gales of laughter from the crowd, lots of glum faces from the mechanics. Oh dear, left in charge of the cars for half an hour and look what happens? Two dented bumpers. Oops.
Then the Deathstar arrived (Sky’s big team coach, so called by Dave Millar, who is, we can guess, ever so slightly jealous) and the whole crowd flocked over to it, like metal filings to a magnet.
It was a bit sad for Garmin, really. One minute they were the “big” team, their posh coach and natty matching cars (now with matching dented bumpers. mwah hah hah!) utterly overshadowing the UK Youth’s tiny little white van and odd mix of cars.
Next minute, cries of “Oooh, Sky!” and everyone had fled.
So I repeated the dialogue above, and the nice Garmin mechanic went round to their road van and found me a brand new musette:
“There you are,” he said, “seeing as you asked so nicely.”
So nicely? All I said was – well, you’ve already read the dialogue. Please and thank you did come into it, along with a smile: but it rather made me wonder how other people ask for things. LLB, when I reported this later, said that most people probably just stomp up to them and say, “gimme a bidon, mate,” or something like that.
Here it is, very similar indeed to the Leopard Trek one, smartly printed on nylon, none of your rough calico bags for these big teams.
Next on the hit-list was the Orica GreenEdge bus. My third ambition for this Tour being, of course, to do the “Here’s my num-bah, Call me maybe!” dance and get a response.
Sorry, did you miss that?
Where have you been!
With huge thanks to Brisbane Gal for bringing this to my attention, the Orica GreenEdge team did a spoof video of themselves miming along to “Call me, maybe”, having seen the video made by the Miami Dolphins cheerleaders. Oddly, LLB was familiar with the cheerleader version, but hadn’t seen the Orica one.
It’s brilliant, and as Brisbane Gal quite rightly said, that’s what we want to see, a team having fun. Fun! Our poor Leopards used to have fun, but not any more *sniffle*.
In case you missed it, try this: or just type “Orica GreenEdge call me maybe” into google…
So I bravely made my way up to the Orica bus (well, LLB had to give me a bit of a shove, actually), asked, but was told they were too busy, and to come back after the start.
Oh well, fair enough, lots to do, race to attend.. so we left them to it.
After the start, of course, by the time we’d made our way back through the crowds, all the Team buses were long gone…
…but on Sunday at Guildford, we located the Team Bus area, and I tried again. This time, success! They brought me out a musette, and proudly pointed to the front of it:
If you can see it, there’s a piece of tape with Daryl on it.
“Daryl!” they beamed at me (“they” being the two rather italian mechanics, in case you were wondering).
I must have looked a little confused.
“Daryl Impey!” they chorused.
Yes, I know who Daryl is, but why are you giving me his musette? He’s not even in this race.
Oh well, who cares! For your general information, I can tell you that the Orica GreenEdge musettes are a bit of a disappointment, being a) quite a bit smaller than Leopard/Garmin, and b) made of a woven nylon fabric that has a very odd texture to it.
Well, I won’t be using that one for shopping. Pity, as it’s quite the prettiest one – apart from the Leopard one, of course. *she says, loyally.*
Here we are then, a selection of freshly mumped musettes:
So there you go, all ambitions achieved. “All” ambitions? Yes, I did the “call me maybe” gesture to the Orica team car as they rolled away at the start, and the driver returned the gesture! Success!
Tour of Britain: Yay, go Sky!
OK, I’m a little behind in my reporting, sorry about that, but I’m rushing around like a mad thing trying to do all my work, study, and get ready for a few days off work to see a couple of Tour of Britain stages.
Regarding the Tour of Britain, as I found out last year, it’s really strange to watch a cycle race in your own country. You get so accustomed to the scenery of Europe that it’s really odd to see road signs you can read, and familiar place names.
There’s a few key differences about racing in England: LLB and I were watching the first stage for quite a while, trying to figure out why it didn’t look a “real” race, and eventually we came up with the following items:
1) Hardly any flag waving. Come on Brits, everyone in the country must have a Union Jack by now, get it out and get out there waving! Loyal Schlecklanders might remember that this time last year, LLB and I went to the stage in Wells, and we made friends with Derry, who was the only other person on “our” corner who had a flag to wave. Hers was an orange Rabobank flag, and she came up to chat to us, specifically because I was the only other idiot there with a flag. Mine, of course, was the hand-made Leopard flag, yay!
This year I won’t be taking the Shack flag, for the obvious reason, instead LLB and I will have our home-made small Sky flags to wave discreetly. Or in my case, to wave like a loony.
2) Less screaming from the fans. Come on girls, Yanto! Scream!
3) No cowbells. Hmm, guess they haven’t caught on in the UK yet.
4) No running alongside the riders. We’re a bit repressed over here. Give it time.
5) No inflatable clapper sticks. We don’t have the “caravan” that gives stuff out, so we seem to lack things like clappers, big wavy hands and so on.
6) No blocks of spectators wearing team colours: in fact, not many people wearing team kit, or team colours.
7) Fewer cyclists in kit watching. Ah, that will be due to the UK having fewer cyclists! But the numbers are growing….
8) Hilarious/shocking disregard for the rights and safety of the cyclists by local motorists: there are cars parked all over the roads, honestly, have they never watched a cycle race? All those metal bikes with sharp metal edges, whizzing past your parked car … there’s no way I’d leave my car on the roadside!
9) Oh, and a strange lack of bunting (hanging triangular flags) in the villages.
Anyway, what about the race:
It always amuses me to see the difference between continental racers and the Pro-Teams. At one point, Rapha Condor Sharp – well respected in UK cycling – were on the front, five blokes all pulling for all they were worth, really moving it along: until you notice the Sky boys behind them, sitting up, laughing, chatting, drinking, and eating. Barely breaking a sweat.
At the end, it was a bit sad that we can clearly only afford one podium girl, but she was quite dishy, and she worked very hard to get everyone in the right place, handing over the right trophy and zipping up the jerseys.
And what a podium it was – Go, Luke!! I couldn’t believe it, my pet neo-Pro won the stage! Amazingly for such a young rider, he kept his head when Cav crashed (no-one has said it, but I think Tyler Farrar side-swiped him) and just kept going, to take the stage! Fantastic stuff, well done Luke.
Right, LLB and I are off tomorrow, on our short “holiday” to zip around the middle of the country and see a bit of the ToB. Don’t expect me to respond to comments for a couple of days, I’ll be too busy being out there watching it!
Tour of Britain: it’s upon us!
Yay! My local race has finally started, and my initial impressions include the obvious Why Didn’t Shack Come, along with a side order of “why didn’t Andy come and watch, even if he can’t ride?”.
I did offer to let him wave my flag! I even offered to let TinkerJil wave the little flag!
Leopard came last year, we all remember poor Jensi taking a tumble on one of the first days and breaking bones: Shack don’t seem to be interested in coming to Britain – huh, maybe we’re just too small for them. Pfff! Yar boo sucks to Shack.
Anyway, moving on from that crushing disappointment, the start list made interesting reading: as usual, only a handful of Pro Teams, many of whom were quite open in saying that they were using this race as training for the Worlds, which start in a fortnight.
So, teams we know:
Sky: My Team! I will be waving my home-made Sky flags, both out on the road, and at home watching it on TV. Yay for Sky!
They are sending Bradley Wiggins and Mark Cavendish, and I hereby predict that Marky Mark will be going hell for leather for every sprint going, and Bradley will be sitting up and waving at the crowds, rather in the style of Her Majesty. In fact, he will probably be stopping to sign autographs on the way. Yes, I don’t think he will be seriously racing, I think he’s there just to fly the flag and Be Seen, and why not, he’s done more for British Cycling than anyone else.
Also riding are Bernie Eisel, of course, joined at the hip to Cav as always: plus Jeremy Hunt (last season, retiring soon), Christian K-nees (always said in a Monty Python-esque voice) and my pet, Luke Rowe. He’s a little sweetie who’s just joined Sky as a neo-pro this year, having mostly been riding track, or for small domestic teams. We saw him in the Revolution track events earlier this year, having his first win for Team Sky, and he was about as cute as you can get, all big eyes, big grin, and “cor, can’t believe I’ve only just joined this big team and look, mum, I won!” Can’t wait to see how he gets on, on the road.
Euskaltel are here, bizarrely: what on earth do a Basque team of climbers want, coming to cold, cold, and nearly flat Britain in September? Oh, Sammy Sanchez, wanting to prep for the Worlds. Mmm, that makes sense. Haven’t heard of any of the others
Orica Greenedge *points to backside, sings “Here’s my numm-bah, call me!” * are sending a small team of just five (not six like everyone else). Alas, no Stuey, or Svein Tuft, but I shall be shouting for them anyway. Go, Roos!
Liquigas are sending Basso – again, probably prepping for the Worlds.
Vacansoleil are sending a bunch I’ve never heard of, and Garmin Sharp are sending Tyler Farrar, (of whom I have heard, but “over-rated” is my view on him) and the left-handed Sep Vanmarcke, now an honorary Schlecklander for changing his mind about joining Shack, ha ha ha ha!
Non-Pro teams include:
Endura Racing, who I’ve heard of.
Node4 – Giordana Racing: nope, never heard of them.
UnitedHealthcare Pro Cycling: we know them, they are bringing Boy Van Poppel, son of Man Van Poppel and possibly Woman Van Poppel.
Saur Sojasun: well-known, unpronounceable.
Team IG – Sigma Sport: errr, must be a domestic team.
Team NetApp: know the team, don’t know any of their riders.
Rapha Condor: one of the better-known UK teams, run by John Herety who is frequently a visitor/commentator in the Eurosport studio, so we know him quite well.
AN Post Sean Kelly: famous team! Well, we know Sean Kelly quite well, he’s often commentating on the races. I can’t imagine how proud-making it must be to have your own actual name on the back of the shirts. Even Mr Tinkov, for some unknown reason, spelled it Tinkoff on the backs of the jerseys. Hmmm, Team Cougar Girl? Team Auntie Coug? Leopard-Coug? Captain Coug Racing? Maybe not….
Team Raleigh – GAC: another unknown small team, but of course the name of Raleigh is immensely famous.
Team UK Youth: yay! They get a special mention, as they are my “underdog” team. I’ve always enjoyed Magnus Backstedt as a commentator, and I’d accepted him as a knowledgeable “former” rider, who occasionally rode a tandem for charity. Now he’s racing again! And with Yanto Barker!
Yes, I quite like Yanto Barker. At last year’s ToB he was commentating from the back of one of the motorcade bikes, and doing interviews with the riders and he rather endeared himself to me, so he’s an honorary Schlecklander, too. Go, Yanto! Go, Yoo-Kay-Yoof!
Lastly, there is Team Great Britain – hmm, not the most inspired name for a team. I have no idea who they are or where they’ve come from, but they do appear to have kindly been loaned the Team GB skinsuits from the olympics, so – confusingly – they are wearing they super stripey red-white’n’blue kits with SKY all over them.
This should confuse viewers who are new to the sport!
Look out Becca, we’re coming to get you….
Interesting news yesterday – Geox, remember them from last year? Let down by one of their sponsors, causing the other one (Geox) to run away like cowardy custards, so the team folded, despite having Cobo, winner of the Vuelta that year, in their team, along with Menchov and Sastre.
Oh, and they had the scary high-lighter yellow kit, somewhat similar to Farnese-Vini, that well-known British team.
So, what’s happened? The Swiss courts have confirmed the earlier judgement of the Court of Arbitration of Lugano (Who? No, I have no idea either…), and, it was announced, have awarded Team Geox’s owners 6.3 million Euros.
The report said:
“The Federal Supreme Court of Switzerland, highest judicial body of that country, has condemned TMC Italia SpA definitively and with damages charged for its behaviour during the 2011 cycling season”
So that’s one in the eye for sponsors who make promises of money over several years, and who fail to cough up the cash…
…Mr Becca, are you listening?
Andy’s coming back! Andy’s coming back!
Back to racing, that is.
Excellent news this afternoon, Velonation report that Andy is going to be racing again an a week or so, at the GP de Wallonie.
Fingers crossed that Eurosport give us some coverage of it!
Yay, welcome back Andy, wecome back.
Frankie’s on his way at last.
They say that “no news is good news” but I really can’t agree.
We’ve been on tenterhooks, wondering how long it’s going to take Frankie to sort out the problem with his Adverse Finding during the Tour – and today, there is news that things are progressing a little.
Thanks to Brisbane Gal for pointing out this report in cycling news, telling us that Frankie has appeared in front of LADA, or whatever the Lux Anti-Doping Agency call themselves, late yesterday, Wednesday.
The article is headed, somewhat misleadingly, “Frank Schleck Fronts Disciplinary Committee” but we think they mean “appears in front of”, don’t we. Or maybe not, perhaps he has formed his own Disciplinary Committee?
Somewhere in Lux:
Frankie: “Right! Stand to attention! You are hereby called before this Disciplinary Committee to answer to the accusations made about you recently. Please state your name and country of affiliation.”
Leea: “A booo booo fffff.” (dribbles slightly)
Frankie: “Are you, in fact, Leea Schleck, guilty of not eating all your greens?”
Leea: (laughs up at Frankie) “Dah-deeee!”
Frankie: (trying to remain stern) “And is it not a fact that you have repeatedly failed to put away your toys?”
Leea: “Pffffff,” (blows bubbles) “Dah-deee, Dah-dee!”
The hearing crumbles in disarray, and Martine enters the room, suggesting that it’s time the pair of them went out to the playpark and had a go on the swings.
Where were we? Oh yes, Frankie has appeared in front of the Committee, and they have said that a decision will be announced within a few weeks.
Now we all know what that decision is going to be: accidental ingestion, no sanction. Or possibly a small fine. And then WADA are going to trample all over it with their big boots, and possibly the UCI will also stick their noses in… so let’s hope that LADA will take the precaution of discussing the matter with WADA and the UCI before making their announcement.
Frankie, this is a hard time for you, but we are all with you. And even if WADA/UCI “do a Contador” on you, and hand you a (hopefully very short) ban, please, please, take it like a man, don’t appeal, just continue to tell everyone that you are innocent, and continue with the analysis that you mention, and find out where this contaminant came from.
Meanwhile the saga of Will Shack Continue Next Year? rumbles on. They announced that two riders, Nizzolo and Popovytch, had signed up again, which is clearly a sign that they are continuing next year.
We also heard the news, a week ago, that Kiserlovski has left Astana to sign for two years with Shack.
And of course Jensi has signed for another year: in my view, the firmest possible indication that Andy and Frankie will indeed be honouring their contracts and staying there until 2013.
(I am skipping over the outraged raised-eyebrows and “have they not read about the non-payment, constant sniping, bad management etc” comments.)
So, all these are good signs that Shack will continue.
But today another crack appears: Shack have announced that they are considering suing Sep Vanmarcke of Garmin, because back at the Classics earlier this year, he agreed to join the Shack, and (they say) confirmed it in writing. Now, however, he’s apparently negotiating with other teams, and the rumour is that he’s going to Rabobank.
Shack are clearly very cross about this.
So why did Vanmarcke change his mind? Does make you wonder, doesn’t it?!
Oh good, second China tour is cancelled.
Those of us who watched the Tour of Beijing last year, and who coughed and spluttered in sympathy with the athletes ruining their lungs out there will be happy indeed to hear that the UCI have cancelled the second China tour, the tour of Hangzhou (catchy name, huh?).
Cycling News reported on the cancellation of Hangzhou, saying that there just wasn’t enough time to get it ready for this year, which is the good news.
The bad news is, Pat McQuaid commented “the decision to postpone the organisation of this event will have no negative consequences on the project.”
Drat.
That means it will be back next year.
Why do we have to have China-based races in the World Tour? Yes, I know, the word “world” is a bit of a hint, but is it really necessary, bearing in mind the tiny, tiny number of Chinese pro-cyclists?
It’s a long way to go, the smog is appalling, some teams can’t afford to ship a full set of equipment out there, and judging by last year’s tour, the general public in China are not the tiniest bit interested in it.
From memory, there were about a dozen people watching it, last year. I can’t find a post referring to it, mostly because I can’t remember what time of year it occurred (other than Smog Season) and frankly I can’t be bothered to look it up. But I rather think that if I did a race report on the event, it would have been pretty scathing about the disinterest from the public, the fact that spectators were apparently excluded from the finish line on at least one day, and don’t get me started on the podium girls.
So here’s a question: if I, as a cycling viewer, don’t want to watch a China tour: if the Chinese public aren’t interested in attending: if the organisers of the first one – Beijing – got so much wrong, and the organisers of the second have had to admit that they just aren’t ready, then why are we bothering?
In fact, the real question has to be: has anyone asked the riders if they even want to go to China to race?
Oh, poor Stuey!
What a day Sunday was: we had the second day of the Vuelta, ie the first “proper” road racing day, along with news that one of the Astana riders, Gasparotto, had broken his collarbone in yesterday’s TTT.
We also had the one-day Vattenfall classic out in Hamburg, where Orica did not have a good day, with two of their riders down in a late crash, and another down in a very, very late crash.
The first crash occurred 40k out, leaving Keukeleire with bruises and stitches in his thigh (“ouch!”) but poor Stuey has bust his collarbone, and fractured “several” ribs.
The late crash was just before the finish line, and Darryl Impey went down very hard indeed, leaving him with fractured ribs as well.
Not a good day for Orica, but they’ve done really well overall this season, currently sitting 7th in the UCI rankings. (Yes, Stinkoff are still bottom, with just 155 points: Shack are 10th with 529 and predictably *waves Union Jack, now somewhat battered* Sky are top with 1,321 points)
Bizarrely, their website doesn’t seem to have been updated since the Tour: I went to it for news of Stuey, but there is nothing more recent that the round-up of the Tour. Weird! So all we have are the news reports.
Poor Stuey, eh? Perhaps he’ll go and stay with Andy in Mondorf for a while.
Somewhere in Mondorf:
Andy, Frankie and Jakob are slumped on the sofa. Andy has his eyes fixed on the tv, Frankie is texting, and Jakob is experimenting with holding different coloured sweetie wrappers over the torch that he is holding.
The TV is showing an incomprehensible children’s tv programme involving a stuffed lion, two sticks of what appear to be celery, with eyes and mouths, and a woman with her hand inside a sock, which also has eyes and a mouth, and which appears to be talking to her. Luckily, the sound is muted. Andy is watching it anyway, seemingly hypnotised.
The doorbell rings, there is knocking and scuffling, then the sound of the door opening and something heavy being dropped on the floor, along with muffled curses in a strong Australian accent.
Andy, slumped on the sofa with a cushion under his backside, nudges Jakob with his elbow, without taking his eyes from the screen.
“Go give Stuey a hand, mate,” he says.
Jakob returns, supporting an ashen-faced Stuey, who drops heavily down onto the sofa, but then instantly leaps to his feet again, howling with pain.
“What &&**%^$^&* left this &*%$$$£**&^ torch on the &&^%£^** sofa?” he yells.
“Whoops!” says Jakob, looking guilty. “Sorry, mate!”
The torch is removed, Stuey is swiftly re-settled on the sofa, and Frankie goes to the fridge, returning with an armful of sealed beakers of “Clean’n’Pure” fruit drink.
He offers Stuey first choice. Stuey groans. “Oh blimey, not this stuff again, can’t we have some beer?”
Frankie: “No, mate, not while you are on antibiotics. And even though none of us are racing, we are still subject to doping controls, so we still have to be very, very careful.”
Andy and Jakob exchange a glance behind Frankie’s back.
Stuey takes the nearest beaker, and pops the seal. “What flavour is this one, then?”
Andy grins. “Close your eyes and taste it,” he says, “then tell us what flavour you think it is.”
This is clearly a standing joke, as they all take a beaker, pop the seal, close their eyes, and take a swig.
“Orange.”
“Orange.”
“Orange.”
“Blue.”
“Blue? What sort of flavour is blue?”
“Well, it’s not orange, it tastes, well, sort of blue.”
“Pass it over here, let’s have a taste.”
There is a confused moment of scuffling, swearing, and clashing of beakers.
“Perhaps we should open our eyes first?”
Vuelta – TTT
At last! La Vuelta has started, we had the TTT yesterday evening, and it looked like a hot start to the race, with temperatures of 32c, which is 89 degrees in old money. “Phew, what a scorcher”, as they say.
Luckily, this year the whole of the race is taking place in the northern half of the country, so it should be less baking hot, and hopefully we’ll get less of the barren plains of central Spain – you remember, mile after mile of brown, brown, brown, dotted with the occasional zombie town.
The first time I saw a zombie town, I asked LLB what the zombies ate. “Each other,” he replied, “or passing cyclists.”
No wonder the organisers have chosen to move the route away from the central zombie region.
So, TTT: our coverage started with shots of Contador, predictably, and it was nice to see that as Stinkoff walked up the steps to the presentation podium, Sky were walking down, and Chris Frome slapped Contador (in a friendly way) on the shoulder as they passed.
The start ramp has to be the biggest ramp I have ever seen: it was massively wide, massively long, and very strongly red in colour. BMC were completely invisible as they lined up for their start…
I hate to say this again, having said it at the Giro earlier this year, but it does rather look as though most of the teams have sent their z-teams to the race. There were hardly any “big” names, apart from Contador of course.
Possibly that is always going to be a problem with an end-of-season race: riders are tired, or injured, or have announced that they are transferring and therefore aren’t being allowed to race by their mean-minded teams… it seems that it’s more a case of “can we scrape up a team” than “we’ll send X to target the GC/stages/points”.
As we all know, Andy and Frankie Schleck aren’t there, nor is Jakob, nor Fabian, nor Jensie: so who am I going to be following for this race? Who have the teams scraped up, then? Here’s a quick gallop through the teams:
Movistar: Cobo, unlikely winner of last year, even more unlikely to win this year, plus a load of blokes with unpronounceable names, that I’ve never heard of.
AG2R – John “No you can’t have my bike” Gadret, well-known selfish rider, appears to have been rewarded by being number 1 in his team. interestingly, bearing in mind the Jakob issue, Nico Roche is there, even though he has already announced that he’s leaving the team to go to Stinkoff. (See, Mr Bruyneel, other teams are happy to send departing riders to UCI races, nyah nyah nyah)
Andaluthia – nope, don’t know any of them, but then I wouldn’t expect to.
Astana – nope, no pets there. No Vino either, perhaps he really, really, REALLY has retired this time?
BMC – well, Gilbert is the only big rider, and he’s been in terrible form all year, poor guy: all that fuss last year, winning practically everything he started, big transfer, big money, and this year? Not a thing. He must be sweating buckets. At least he’s not the only one, Cadel Evans hasn’t exactly shone this year, either. Interesting to see that Gilbert, although not the Belgian TT champion, was still wearing the “special” helmet in the Belgian colours. Wonder if he sleeps with it, as well?
Caja Rural – plucky wild-card entry, not a hope in hell of winning anything but I confidently predict that they will be in every break of every day.
Cofidis – very odd to see their name all over the finish line, as their sponsor is obviously sponsoring the race as well! Most of their riders are completely unknown to me, so we won’t worry too much about them.
Euskaltel – ah, my dear little carrots. I’m so pleased to hear that their main sponsor has signed up for another three years, and that they are not changing their team kit. They are such a funny little team, they hardly ever win anything, their bike handling skills are so legendarily bad that they are now famous for always crashing, hence the phrase “the bleeding carrots” which you might hear the English-speaking commentators using. Igor Anton is my “pet” carrot, and I’m pleased to see that he’s leading the team this year. Let’s hope they don’t fall off too much.
FDJ – nope, don’t know any of them.
Garmin – yay! Good to see that Honorary Schlecklander JVS (Johan Van Summeren) is still on form, he’s there at number 99, lanky as ever. I don’t think I know any of the others.
Katusha – ah, the Dark Lords of Katusha, cloned and ready to ride.
Lampre – nope, no pets there.
Liquigas – I’m amazed they had enough riders left to fill a team, so many of them seem to have jumped ship already. Seven are already confirmed as going to other teams, and so far the only person joining them is a solitary neo. Does make you wonder if they will be around next year. Of their Vuelta team, I don’t think I’ve heard of a single one of them.
Lotto – Ah, they have a Schlecklander pet, Gianni Meerkat (Meersman)
and at least I have heard of some of their riders.
Omega Pharma have Tony Martin back on form (we hope) after a really bad early part of the year. And he’s supported by Cataldo, who is a bit of a dark horse and might surprise us all.
Orica – lots of Meyers, no Gerranses.
Rabobank: well, at least I’ve heard of most of them. We know Ten Damme, the Wolf Man, with his hairy, scary face.
RadioShack – oh dear, I am supposed to say nice things at this point. Err, Go, Linus, Go! Go on, lad, show them all! Give ’em hell!
Sky: not an “A” team, but they’ve sent Chris Frome, who now has the weight of expectation on his shoulders, and it will be interesting to see how he copes with it. There’s also Flecha, who, along with Johnny Hoogerland, is a special pet, after that disgraceful incident with the tv car in the Tour of 2011. Also Rigoberto “So good they named him twice” Uran Uran, with his hair flowing freely (and un-aerodynamically) in the breeze.
Argos Shimano – nope, no pets.
Stinkoff: interesting gossip, Navarro is leaving the team, yet he was one of Contador’s lieutenants. Hmmm. Other than that, nothing of interest: of course we will be watching Contador, I don’t think we can avoid it, and maybe it’s a good thing we don’t have Andy here, otherwise the commentators would spend their whole time drawing comparisons between Conti’s situation and that of Frankie. Which would be unfair on several counts.
Finally, Vacansoleil, nothing of interest there.
So, on to the TTT itself: there was an awful lot of really bad riding going on! Orica were shattered in no time, riders all over the place: Garmin had a bad crash, with three riders down, which must have been heartstopping for the rider who had just dropped off the back and was thankfully pedalling gently for home: suddenly he had to accelerate like mad in order to catch up, as he might well be needed at the end. They were leading by one second at the half-way stage, but that crash really ruined their chances.
Shack made a reasonable start, they were a bit ragged but not as much as some of the other teams. BMC made a surprising good finish, Gilbert was leading them in strongly, perhaps he is coming back into form, after all?
As an aside, it was lovely to see the big green banners for local sponsor Fertiberia again: or, “Fartibottom” as LLB and I call them, having found out that it’s a fertiliser.
We also spot a lone Lux ensign, could it be for Didier? Or was it a pair of staunch Frandy fans, determined to show their support even though neither Andy nor Frankie is in the race? Either way, go Lux ensign wavers, go!
The current leaders, rather than being allowed to get changed, do a cool down, sit in the shade etc are forced to sit in a row on canvas chairs on the podium, which I think is particularly cruel as we get close-ups of their worried little faces as each team approaches the line. Will they be beaten? Will they have to stay sitting in the sun?
BMC are currently sweltering on the chairs, then Rabobank come in and have beaten them by a second. They start to get up, pick up their scattered kit, wipe their faces, cry quietly etc, but no! The time has been changed, they are still winning. Oh, hang on, they have been given the same time. Oh dear, more confusion, will they have to sit on each other’s laps?
Luckily our coverage goes back to the race, we see Omega arrive, just one second down. No! Their time is also being adjusted, now they are all on the same time! This is ridiculous, are we supposed to stack the riders three high? Those canvas chairs will collapse, I tell you.
Two minutes later and it’s all been sorted out, Rabobank have taken over the chairs, and they are all wearing freezer-pack cool vests, what a brilliant idea.
Euskaltel arrive at the finish, and what do I see? One of them already has a bandage on his arm. See, they just can’t help falling off!
Sky come towards the line, and Rabobank start to get to their feet, ready to depart from the podium chairs. But Sky don’t win! Rabobank are visibly disbelieving – then jubilant – they have beaten Sky at a TT!!!
But more is to come – Movistar, last off the ramp, come in 10 seconds faster!! LLB and I look at each other in disbelief, and one of us (all right, I admit it, it was me) wonders out loud if the organisers could have “fixed” the timer clock.
Rabobank clutch their heads in disbelief – they have lost to Movistar.
Cougar Girl
Schleckland 